“A penny for your thoughts?“
“No thank you, I’d rather have a dollar with all the inflation going around right now. Now, a penny for my thoughts and dollar for a fair deal would make me open up more likely.“
As with all my writings, the urge to write down only appears in situations that affect me greatly. Let’s get to it then. You are probably wondering, like any sane person would do at 2 am, is life difficult?
Although I won’t be able to hear you answer, I presume it is a resounding yes. Indeed, it most probably is for each and every one of us. No matter how much we fight against it, we will find ourselves in situations that will break our resolve. Unfortunately, we don’t really have a say in the matter, cycles are the gods of the world we live in, its very foundation, that makes it go tick tick. It creates us, breaks us, molds us, while showing little to no mercy. Now then, how fearless one must be to just go on living, what kind of heart does one need to survive in a place where the only constant is change? How many experiences do we have to endure, just so we can keep our feet moving day after day? Honestly now, if we stop for a moment from the crazy dizziness that keeps us terribly “busy”, which is very akin in some regard to holding our hands over our eyes, I think it would be easy to glimpse at the immense suffering going around.
We could say that life is a ride, in which we all take different roads, one where we are trying our best to keep on going, no matter what. Moreover, it is also scary and unbearable, that being the reason as to why a lot of us lose it all, even our beautiful mind. Also, I believe there’s no one to blame for the condition we find ourselves, hence we all suffer from the heaviness of consciousness, which is an unfair burden, one that we never asked for.
That’s enough for tonight. I’m not going to keep on rambling about unfairness and heavy burdens until early morning. We’re all accustomed to them anyhow. I will not stop looking for answers, the kind of answers that can relieve some of the burden. Answers that might give us clues, and answers that will solve it all (madness). Yet, for now I must say that I am out of luck. I’ll find them in another day, or tomorrow, or maybe never…?
Now, towards the ending I wonder if the veil of smoke, the illusion that “we are”, “life”, can even offer such answers? How can an illusion understand what true nature is like, without becoming reality in the process? I said earlier that we are searching for answers and reasons. Although it’s what I am searching for, they will not bring true relief. It will not make things “fair”.
There is but one escape from the veil of smoke and that is to utterly understand that, for the time being, all our experiences are just smoke and mirrors. And then, maybe one day acceptance will hit us in the face. We come and go, the world does too, oh what a great veil of smoke. So, there is nothing, to, hold, on.
And that might be okay.
Aelthy 